DANKganronpa
by succ
Summary: Len's a small guy who just scrapes by in life. Komaeda's a small guy who also happens to scrape by in life - literally. He's been scraped off the pavement more times than Len's washed his dishes. After a brief fight on the street, these two realize something more, something different about their new-found relationship that alters their perception of reality.


Author's note: this was written by myself and my beautiful wife, komaegay at tumblr. This is our best collaborative work yet.

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It was a bright, sunny afternoon. Okay, that was a lie. It was a rainy, dreary morning and Len Kagamine was busy taking the biggest dump of his fuckign life. His girlfriend, Seeu, was busy vomiting in the sink beside him and he couldn't be more pissed (get it?) about his entire existence.

"Len, please hurry up on the toilet… the sink is getting clogged," she said to him. Her face was extremely pale and her eyes were sunken, almost as if she had been sick for a while. Oh, wait.

Grumbling, Len wiped himself and flushed the toilet. He hadn't been quite done with his dump, but then if he had stayed on any longer, the sink would need to be repaired. As he walked out of the bathroom, he pat seeu on the back. "Feel better."

The blondier of the two fished a pair of pants out of the dirty laundry, sniffed them (they were fuckin' RIPE but not as ripe as the rest of the pile) and slid them on his body. His t-shirt had stains on it so he changed it into another shirt with less noticeable stains. Len slipped on his shoes, grabbed his jacket and left the small apartment.

That was when he came. The ultimate piece of trash- of course it's fucking Komaeda who the hell else would it be? Fucking Kanye west? Not when he's at his Kanye Best. He did that laugh. You know, the one he does... It's in that God worthy luvoratory video. Anyways, back to the main topic and I won't sit here and flirt with pickle. Okay, so Komaeda is a complete piece of trash. There's those tumblr users who say they're trash, but they're fools. This is the trash king. He's not even compared to them he's just bad. Anyways... (LOL 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑 rrrrrr kkkkk jajajajajajjajajjajjjajajjajaajajjajajajajajajjajajajajajajajajajajjaj笑笑笑笑笑笑笑 xDDD)

This shit head was there. That fucking piece of trash. I hate him. 笑 . 笑 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

He took one look at Len, and his hope meter went through the fucking roof. Man, there wasn't even note of a goddamn roof before but he broke it. It was gone. He gave him a thumbs up and licked his pasty ass ugly lips, not caring if he made the idiot blonde uncomfortable or not. Komaeda is a fucking uncomfortable guy, just looking at him makes me uncomfortable. "Yo, boy. You're trash like me," he said. Komaeda smelled. He smelled like really bad. This kid has like never showered before. He just looks like that. He's gross. He didn't give a shit if Len stared at him. He started heelying down the sidewalk, showing off his mad skillz.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Len frowned. Was this kid actually serious? This white haired kid (who has white hair nowadays anyways? That gothic shit is so outdated) smelled and looked worse than he did. He should be calling that guy trash. "You're the one wearing a shirt with a dry cum stain on it."

Komaeda frowned, too. "Excuse me? wtf. I'm saving it for later. Don't open your mouth, it ruins your pretty face." That's when it hit him. Literally, it hit him. Komaeda just got punched by a 5'2" scrub who smelled like old pits, sweaty balls, and vaginal discharge. Instead of fighting back, he crumpled. "yoo wtf is your problem kid?"

Len spit on the ground to the side of him, turned around, and began to walk away.

Komaeda was like, super offended. That kid had spoke the truth. He was a disgusting piece of shit, who took a dead body's arm. That's really gross honestly like super gross wtf... Okay anyways, I really hate Komaeda. Okay okay. So he walks over to this 5'2 piece of trash, (pickles taller xD) and punches this brat in the arm. It wasn't even a punch. It was more like a tap. Anyways, it was with his left hand so one of the fingers fell off since it was a dead hand. "Oh no, not again," he mumbled, reaching down to pick it up. "Gotta sew that together again, I guess..." He sighed dramatically and turned away from Len.

He really clumsily sewed it back together. In fact, it was on backwards. Oh fucking well, who the hell cares. "Okay, kid," he said, pointing the dead finger at him. "We're gonna fite. Meet me out back. We're gonna go 4 realz. I fucking hate you, you stupid banana piece of hair."

Len ran up on him. "Oh, yeah? Let's fucking do this, then, you smelly rat." Komaeda gulped. What has he gotten himself into? He was gonna get rekt… like, really rekt… this brat is way too tough… but, thinking he deserves such a pounding he followed Len anyway. Once they were out back, Len punched him hard in the jaw.

That was the last thing Komaeda needed. He popped a boner immediately after getting punched. He didn't try to hide it. He spread full eagle for Len. "This is what you want to do, huh? Beat up an old man who just has an innocent boner?"

The blonde said nothing but slammed his fist right into Komaeda's wiener. It hurt so much but felt so good. "Hit me harder," Komaeda said. "HIT ME HARDER!"

The sadistic side of Len came out. He beat up Komaeda til his ears were bloody. Then Komaeda did something brave… something only nasty, disgusting vermin like him would do. He reached up and FURIOUSLY MASTURBATED. Except it wasn't masturbating because it was with his left hand. (I'm sorry I can't stop) "OH YEAH. THE GOOD STUFF. IM SO FUCKING BLOODY..." No, he wasn't even SLIGHTLY masturbating. This was the big old heavy masturbating. He needed Jesus.

Len was appalled. He threw up all over Komaeda, like his girlfriend had been doing over the sink prior to this. He was throwing up puddles and I'm wanting to throw up writing this. Anyways, God mysteriously cleaned up this hell hole and they were back to normal. I'm disgusted tbh so Komaeda was completely clean, and he didn't have Junko's hand at that moment. Len smelled like apple pie, and Komaeda didn't smell as gross. His hand wasn't on his cock anymore also. His cock was mysteriously back in his pants.

At that moment they realized they were totally high on LSD before fighting. It wore off. Now they weren't high as much. No h2omo. Lool. LMFAO roflmao xDDD XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Okay so, that was when Hinata came in. He made this face:

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"Yo, what the fuck you guyz doing?" he asked. "I thought we were all like... Komaeda, what the fuck bro... WhAt the FUCKING FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. 'No. No. You just wait a FUCKING SECOND. What the fuck did you just call me? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? I'll have you know I'm a yaoi fangirl and PROUD. You don't INSULT me. And by the way, no. No, it's not "gay." Do you even KNOW where that came from? Japan. "GAY" CAME FROM JAPAN. THE PROPER TERM FOR "GAY" IS YAOI. Just because I'm eleven doesn't mean that I can't be a perv. I'm mature. I write yaoi fanfiction. I have many people who like my yaoi posts on and deviantART. I read yaoi every day. Yaoi is my life. I couldn't live without yaoi. I would die without it. I know everything about yaoi sex. I'M NOT STUPID. I read my first doujinshi when I was ten. I'm NOT like the other kids, SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM. I'm sick of it. I'm so fucking sick of all of it. I'll have you know that I knew what a penis does when I was NINE FUCKING YEARS OLD. NINE. I WAS FUCKING NINE. I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A PENIS WAS WHEN YOU WERE NINE. I type with proper grammar, and you don't. You aren't better than me. You don't even use the right word for yaoi. It's not gay. Do your research. By the way, gay porn is disgusting. It's nothing like yaoi and it's unrealistic, and gross. The ukes are usually not even shorter than the seme. It's disgusting. Fuck all of you. I'm eleven and I'm not "stupid" because I actually know the origin of yaoi and you don't. Fuck you. Fuck'- random 11 year old on the Internet"

Hinata was honestly so offended by this, he stole the drugs and stole Len's grillfriend. Len didn't give a fuck he was on LSD again and komaeda crawled back into his rat hole.

End.


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